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Ladies, we are in for the treat from the best friend that never bothers with your inner whore. Oopsies. I know this came out better initially. There it is, growing up now, thinking about a man again but at least it is just thinking.

Time to be honest:

it is not what you thought.

Is HE ready for the disgusting truth where he finds out that letting live let live is not going to get him me. Do not make people chuckle with my response. It just won’t do, not this time.

BABY, the cold hard truth, right here is just that; wrong, right, upside down and twisted. If I could I would have to tell the women behaving immaturely like teenager children that their men only like that in a cheerleader outfit from high school, even if you quit the squad… but I could not care less is the honesty no one wanted. The repetition is only to “beat around the bush,” literally sometimes. Do not think so hard. Just do the unthinkable, uprooting bad thing. Bad advice. No one to speak to allows me to know the thing, that thing; one-sided clues are a hidden mystery even to the confusion from the secrets.

Better without the nonsense… huh.

How do you say you do not care? The message is implied. Response in actions never speak for themselves with people who are needy. Do not ask my opinion. It is harsh, icy-hot and grey gloomy niceness for the kindness. I guess its metallic?

he.

One guy told me I was perfect, one told me I was kind, one told me I was beautiful, one told me I was easy, one told me I was sleazy, and it kept going that HE told me but he never told me he loved me to boot, to start… he never once wished my a happy birthday but he drew me a picture. He must have needed therapy from his lack of currency that he chose to lay on me as the burden to share. I wasn’t wearing a ring though. He lied consistently. He must have had an order. There are women afoot that do not bring anything to tables they do not belong at, but they sure will claim when the time comes that they should own it. He forgot much, ignored a lot, or just thought too much. There wasn’t much to say. He drove me around but he expected and that was never going to work. Bitter, he was. Bitter. He stole from me, but it wasn’t a possession. No one needs to clarify but it is done. None of this sounds like heaven… is there magic in the air? I won’t say until it matters, and the money comes in.

A life lived by God is to question. He is swift in his step and hearty in decision. He gives a never-ending duty, post, that provides his everlasting promise. He is multipled in His Earthly as He encounters His other half in His division. He has no use for words and his discernment a tight ship. These words hold no weight on Him only to free our soul. We, as a being, have strayed from the unknown. We have defined as much, we live less than without much but forget where it comes from. Here is a realization to exist in figuring out knowing, but only in search for His without words until it has rest into each night can He find his search.

The other half is an attempt at:

The worldly doubted question that comes from its nature. It can be balanced with the half that completes the whole, the opposite sex. Gender.

Without looking or searching someone may come to find the truth as it appears in truth. If it is connected to you, it is found for you. I am delighted in His image for he has come to protect me from wrong. He has me survive the fear, evil, and wretched. Where he takes, he gives abundance - not through Himself does he take but deliver.

There is no Her until she is found for His word. They do not come to one until He seeks her love. She is moving and free, calm in destruction, but never for the coming that is her own as it is His. They are one.

The Heart Wants

“I do” I would rather not say. “I cannot” is what I can give. And I’ll switch. I’ll just be. There is a part that is part my being that is less than, it is every day. It’s slight. I know that much. I want to say it the way it can be relatable but that would not suffice. Simplistic, I prefer it. There’s a half to my nonsense that needs to have reason where I fall short. To know the other half is to know who is meant to carry. The weight that gets left for another day. It is Mirta Lamay Ayala. Our names are that important.

Where is he? 

No where in sight.

The way he is there, here, anywhere is who he is whether I am there or far - the same for me. I want a half to leave my worries. That is the ship that sails back to one the other. It is a magnetic design to gravitate where it belongs.

Speaking love and knowing it are not one the same, they are a definitive steer into clarity. 

It would be nice to wake up to my best friend, he would know me, inside/out, but never fault me for the falling short, he would compensate as the latter of my part. He would see me for who I am but never think I needed correction - or measure - to gauge a gradual transformation. Growth, he would live with me, and worry, he would come to figure through me. I would be his, his best friend that would never question unless it is all about the inquiry. He would know me.

In questions, every wonder to wander in a living found he could be and this is the switch:

I want him to have his freedom so that I may have my own. That would be his right to move about, live his life, but never forget. Who he is aside who lives would be one the same, he would not mind my own nature and speech - it would be his calming grace.

He wouldn’t want to change me, let me be but see the inner self as I do not live but bring it forward. He would give me all the plenty myself giving me the world from his spot. He would hear me through every voice connected to any extension, and he would know that meaning he cannot find unless he heard my voice. 

He would hold resolve as he held me. He can as he see fit, it would come accustomed to my living. Growth, even for the many despite appearance. He would never think distortion or power, but give empowerment as the strength never to whither. Where there a place in vase its containment, a flower only expression, I would be able the front door open. When there a quarrel, lay no hand is he nature with a demeanor no one can replace. 

This is what I want.